Things have taken a turn, so I’m going to get a new host
family. Nothing bad happened with the one I’m with now; not really. It’s just
we haven’t been as close as I would want and I still felt like a guest, but I
still like them and think they were really nice and have had a lot of fun.
Though in January, things were a little rocky and they (and I) had some
concerns, so they contacted PI (the organization) for advice, which sent me an
email explaining a few things and advising that I talk with my host family. I
did, and I thought it was a really good conversation because it made me
understand what had been bothering my host family. There had been a lot of
misunderstandings because they weren’t sure how to read my body language and
thought I should show more initiative. Okay, probably true. Just from that
conversation, I got a lot of ideas and motivation for how I could improve my
relationship with them and be more “active”, and since then I’ve been really,
really trying hard to be more involved and I can personally tell that I’ve made
progress.
However, a few days after that conversation, they
decided that it would be better that I get a new host family. I was really
shocked and upset and surprised and didn’t understand, but from talking to
them, I think I get it now. Basically, even though we got along well and such,
there are some cultural and personality differences that can’t be overcome when
we are living together. They feel that I can benefit better from another family,
and that there’s not much we could do to improve things here. I disagree on
that point; I think we could still figure it out and be more like a family. But
I do agree that perhaps another family would be better than this one for me.
Thinking about it, I suppose we were kind of “doomed” to end up here from the
beginning. They are very philosophical and “think deep thoughts” and whatnot,
and are also teachers, so they are more observant and restrained and had more
this goal to be my teachers rather than to be my parents (I think). They
expected and waited from me that I totally open up to them, but because
everything was so new, and German was hard, and I’m naturally a little
reserved, I couldn’t really be myself and didn’t open up to them in a way that
they could see and understand. So they didn’t really open up to me, and because
they didn’t, I didn’t. Because they are such thinkers, they really over-thought
some of my actions (which I admit may not have been so clear) and misinterpreted
them very badly. Ridiculously so. If
they had only asked… perhaps things
would have turned out differently, because I had no idea what was bothering
them. It’s really complicated and hard to explain, but that’s as simply as I
can put it. SO, I’m sad that things didn’t work out, because I do think they
are great people, and I like the friends I’ve met here, my school and teachers,
and Wiesloch and This blog is for people to read about what I'm doing and experiencing as I study abroad in Germany for 10 months as a participant in the Congress-Bundestag Youth Exchange program.
Saturday, February 16, 2013
Switchin' it up
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